Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations about LOVE

Thank you Disney for teaching us that:

Glass slippers and pumpkin carriages are comfortable,
Meeting strangers in the forest is a good idea,
Difficulties and obstacles don't drive men away, but inspire them to pursue you even more,
Swapping your voice and family for a pair of legs is a good deal,
If you love them enough, love will transform beasts or ugly frogs into gorgeous Princes,
A man will fall in love with you at first sight if you look pretty enough,
Men will change when they grown up and fall in love, 

Do we ever really Love? Or is it just a decision to love? An imitation of what we have been taught love is, and should look like, how everything should play out?

"If, from our childhood on, the examples of love were not there inviting us to copy them, would we know what "loving" means?" -Milan Kundera, The Torn Curtain.

Ever found yourself actually searching for someone to crush on? Have certain criteria, search, ask around, then find them and start bombarding that person with your emotions? Can we really ever love a person who we don't know intimately? Because if we don't know that person, if we haven't seen the true them, their souls, how can we say that we love them? Do we simply love the idea of them, our perception of them? We take people, and make them fit into our fantasy of how love should work, turning away from the things that don't fit, filling in the blanks, and concentrating on our perceptions.
Are we just constantly trying to play out our own fantasies without pausing to remove the filter, the pink glasses from our eyes and actually see the real picture?

Going back to the quote, if we were not shown/told those horrendous lies by the Disney corporation on what love is, would we perceive it differently?
------Would women still believe that their role is to be passive, to wait, to be the one who is pursued endlessly, the damsel in distress, the Princess?
------Would women still believe that men have to be macho-men, brave, fearless, the pursuer, the savior, the Prince Charming on a White Stallion?

Or would we have different ideas on how this whole thing should work?
More realistic ideas?

Really, Disney dug us a very deep hole to fall into right after childhood.
Once we grow up and get our reality checks, we hit rock bottom. It just doesn't make sense in our minds, everything we've been taught before just doesn't seem to work. We blame ourselves, or make excuses. But simply, we've been fed lies.
Time to grow up, ladies. 
Chances are, that there is no Prince Charming coming to get you from the damn tower. So learn to walk on your own.
Don't expect this perfect scenario. All you'll get is pain and dissapointment.

Now, of course I'm not saying that romance is dead, or that men are incapable of love.
What I'm saying is that if you ahead of time, set up this screenplay of how exactly things should go, what is the Right Way, then you're just doomed. There is absolutely so way any human being can live up to your standards. So don't expect them to.

Besides, if it isn't rough, it isn't fun. The complications and imperfections are what make the relationships work in a way, they make them real, they give them the opportunity to grow and improve.

Why teach kinds stuff that they will have to relearn later? Why simplify things just so they get shocked out of it by how weird and complicated everything really is? Why drill these expectations into their brains and shut out other possibilities or variations? Why is it impossible to love an ugly person? A fat person? A person of the same sex? This is possible, but it comes as such a shock, because we were not shown that option. It was simply never offered to us as kids.
So why not get them really ready for what's out there but set them up for pain and disappointment? Or is that a natural part of life? Or have we just gotten use to it so much that we simply believe that its a natural part of life?

Think for yourself. Make your own decisions and opinions. Don't simply accept what's been offered to you on a platter.
















BY THE WAY...
While we're on the whole Disney Theme, a modern artist recently drew a more grown-up version of the Princes.. take a look: (hint: they're wearing nothing but undies.. mmm..) 
 
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/39849010.html#cutid1

"No matter how much I prove and prod,
I cannot quite believe in God;
But oh, I hope to God that He
Unswervingly believes in me."

~E.Y. Harburg, attributed

"Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God."  ~Diana Robinson

"For light I go directly to the Source of light, not to any of the reflections."  ~Peace Pilgrim

 

	God: - A supernatural, typically immortal being with superior powers.
	Angel - a benevolent celestial being           -divine and supernatural messenger from a deity, or other divine entity. Fairy-  a mythical being who has magical powers Spirit- a supernatural being, often but not exclusively without physical form People have forgotten how to believe. Where has our childhood innocence gone? When and why did we start limiting our minds to just the 'normal' and so called 'real'? Q: Do you believe in fairies? spirits? guardian angels? A: I only believe in real things. Q: But you believe in God don't you? A: Yes Q: So what do you think God is, a guy sitting on a cloud? A: No. Q: So then He is some sort of spirit, a concentration of energy, a supernatural being without physical form? A: Yes Q: So you are willing to believe in that, but you're not willing to believe in other supernatural beings, fairies, spirits, angels? A: Those are mythical beings, they are not real. Real (wiktionary) : Having physical existence or evidence. People. THINK. BY DEFINITION, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THERE TO BE PROOF OF GOD. Because any type of proof is a physical thing. And He is not and cannot leave physical evidence. I've been around a bit and seen and heard some strange stuff that people find and make them places for worship. "Footprint of the Virgin Mary", "House of Virgin Mary", "Cross of Jesus", "Holy grail aka Cup of Jesus", etc etc. This reminds me of our modern celebrity obsession. Like "wow, we found the sandals of Jesus Christ, how much do you think they'll sell for on Ebay.com?" ITS ALL MISSING THE WHOLE POINT. Jesus was a very wise person. There is almost no doubt that such a person existed. He said some smart stuff, so instead of worshiping the cup he drank from and kissing the ground he walked on how about actually, simply, following his ideas? Love one another. That's all. He did not come and say "im the son of God, worship everything I ever touched." That's not the point. He came to bring us some ideas. Good ones too. So instead of bombing each other with hatred and then going to Church on Sunday to make us feel better how about simply accepting his ideas and sharing a little love with the world each day? The only reason why our minds are so limited, why we accept some ideas and others we push aside automatically, is because are lazy. We accept things when they are accepted by society. We have forgotten how to think for ourselves. God is an widely accepted idea. It's actually expected to believe in some kind of deity, in our world mostly its unusual not to. There is a whole system that revolves around it, institutions, holidays, rules, symbols, jobs, places, limitations, prizes and punishments. We accept it because simply it has always been so, its something normal. Something we've been taught since we were little. And then we were forbidden to question things. Why? Because it made life easier for our parents, it made us easier to control by the system. (By the way, a note about symbols: hasn't any other Christian every realized that  we wear the symbol of the thing that killed our prophet?  Sometimes its even shown with the actual body. The symbol of our religion is a killing device and a corpse. If you believe in the whole Jesus returning thing, do you think the first thing Jesus would love to see on this loyal followers is the image of the thing on which he was killed (physically)?) When we try to think outside the box we can start to realize that everything that pertains to this system has nothing to do with God at all. The Holy Books were not sent by fax or e-mail from heaven. They were written by men. Edited and changed. And not even available to read freely until recent times. They are an instrument of control over society. And there is nothing wrong with that. Every society needs order and rules. But honestly, let's differentiate between the Church and spirituality. If God is such a divine being, do you really think he cares what day you go to church? If you wear pants or a skirt? Whether or not you have your hair covered? Whether you drank water during fasting periods? All the rules and limitations are simply that. Rules and limitations. Set by the Church, not by GOD, but by the institution that took the most powerful weapon - peoples fear of the unknown, and made a system of how to use it to control people. Now, if this sounds cynical or atheistic at all I apologize, that was not my intention. Let me explain. Belief and religion is different. I believe in God. I believe in the idea of Love. Of divine energy. I do not believe that sleeping through Mass every Sunday and telling your priest that you cheated on exams, and not eating or drinking for a few months a year makes you a good person, or that it makes God happy. What is he, your mother? If He is a Divine Being, then treat him as such. He doesn't need you to suffer for Him. He loves his Children, that's kind of the whole point- LOVE. Not pain or suffering, or abstinence, or limiting yourself. Love one another, respect each other. Of course, the Church's system is much easier, its modernized. People can't stick to the principles so they worked out a confession-punishment-forgiveness strategy. That helps people clear their conscience and helps them keep their institutions running and society under control. That's cheating. So, back to what I started with. As children we knew nothing of rules and limitations. We were simply love. Pure love. No wonder people say that children can see angels, talk with them. Their minds and hearts are open. But then we grow up, find out that we evolved from monkeys and that everything else is b.s. and we loose our innocence. We reject anything that may make us seem stupid, childish or strange. We forget how to See. We close our minds and hearts. And then, ironically, we start to search for God. When He was there from the beginning..! It's like fishing for a fish in a bucket. It's already caught, just look at the bigger picture..! Sometimes maybe things really are that simple. You don't need to sacrifice yourself to deserve His love. You have it, simply from birth. Of course, this is just my view of things. To each their own. I am always, always open to discussion. But let me just say, if you believe in Love, then you believe in God, in Angels, in Spirits, in Energies. Just don't be afraid to step out  of your comfort zone and open yourself up to the possibility of these things existing. Really. It's scary as hell I know, but honestly, do you really think our world is the only thing out there? “We are, each of us, angels with only one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other” -Luciano de Crescenzo