the SECRET
“You create your own universe as you go along.” -Winston Churchill
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can
alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” -William James
“You want to become aware of your thoughts, you want to choose
your thoughts carefully and you want to have fun with this, because you
are the masterpiece of your own life.” – Joe Vitale
I was inspired by a documentary this
week, so if you have a minute in between studying and panicking, take a
look. It’s called “the Secret”. And what is this secret?
It’s very simple. It’s the Law of Attraction.
It’s a modern scientific theory that has to do with the effect of
”like attracts like”. It combines science and philosophy, in the sense
that it bases itself on the idea from physics that everything, if taken
to the basic level, is made up of energy. And thus, any thought you have
is not just a thought, but is also a strong impulse of energy, that
makes a difference in the flow of events in your life.
The Law states: I
attract to myself, whatever I give my focus, attention, or energy to;
whether wanted or unwanted. If you think about being poor, lonely,
unwanted and believe your thoughts, then guess what? That is exactly
what you’ll be. This Law applies to your life and every other person’s
life on the planet. Like all laws, it is impartial and impersonal, which
means it works when you want it to and when you don’t want it to.
This has happened, I’m sure, to nearly everyone. Think about it. If
you spend days afraid something will happen, it will most surely happen.
And when you are in a bad situation, everything seems to get worse and
worse. And on the contrary, happy people seem to have good things happen
to them.
You do not need to accept this as your new life philosophy,
especially since there are many criticisms of this theory (well, just as
any theory…) But try to pay attention to it. What I can guarantee is
that it wont hurt you to just make some small changes in your attitude
and lifestyle. And how do you know? Maybe this can dramatically alter
your life.
Simply think positively. Think about what you want in life. Make a
list. Stay away from negatives, such as ”I don’t want to be alone”, or
”I don’t want to be sad.” THINK IN THE POSITIVE.
“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations.
I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace
rally, I’ll be there.” -Mother Teresa
What I think is a good idea is just to start to be aware of your
thoughts. If you’re sad, just fake a smile. You’ll feel better even if
you’re pretending. It’s like a placebo effect at first, but once the
endorphins start flowing in your body, you will feel genuinely better.
Pay attention to the music you listen to. Is it focused on negative
emotions? What kind of things you discuss with friends? Do you spend all
your time whining about your problems instead of finding solutions?
Imagine starting to believe in yourself and your infinite
possibilities. Imagine believing you deserve everything you want out of
life. Imagine getting everything you want out of life. Feel as if you
already accomplished it.
If even you don’t believe in it, then how can you expect to achieve it?
Once you apply the Law of Attraction everything is possible.
“When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead… True story !” – Barney Stinson, from How I Met Your Mother.
Education vs Creativity
“My education was interrupted only by my schooling”- Winston Churchill
Following up on my last post about a phenomenon called the Indigo Children, I would like to elaborate on the most important idea: that, whether or not you believe in the indigos, it is undeniable that today’s world is moving very quickly, and we must keep up with it. We cannot afford to have one of the most important systems –education- become outdated.
Children nowadays are different, whether we explain it by evolution of genetics or by simple adaptations to the new technologies and challenges of today. My four year old niece has her own laptop, and calls me on skype on her own. I didn’t have an e-mail address until I was about 13 or so.
The world is changing, but the education system is still the same. Mathematics and the sciences at the top, physical education and arts at the bottom. And it is aimed at making everybody the same. Standardized. And anything different is wrong. If you’re not good at math, its practically the same as saying you’re going to fail at life. And before it was like that: you had to learn facts, graduate, get a college degree, get a good job.
But now everything is different. A college degree isn’t a guarantee of a good job. You need something extra. You need to be innovative, creative. You need to stand out, to be different.But isn’t it ironic that your entire life you had to learn to fit in, learn to follow rules and be inside the box, and suddenly, its’ like, none of that really matters.
Creativity is what drives progress. It’s what, in a way “makes the world go round”
So why is it that the education system seems to be aimed at stripping children of the gift of creativity?
This article was inspired by a video that was sent to me from one of you, my dear readers, of a speaker at the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) conference, Sir Ken Robinson, called “Do Schools Kill Creativity?” (Please youtube it when you have a free minute.)
He talks about the fact that education has its priorities wrong: not to teach really, and not to inspire and light a spark in the children, but to fill them with the standard program and create a fear of making mistakes. He makes an incredibly good point during his presentation: “If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original.”
It’s the idea that children and young adults have this burning potential, that, if not recognized, or if it’s suffocated by standardization, can go to waste. He gives an example:
“I’m doing a new book at the moment called, Epiphany, which is based on a series of interviews with people about how they discovered their talent. I’m fascinated about how people got to be there. It’s really prompted by a conversation I had with a wonderful woman who most people have never heard of, she’s called, Julian Lynn.
Have you heard of her? Some have. She’s a choreographer and everybody knows her work. She did Cats and Phantom of the Opera. She’s wonderful. I used to be on the board of the Royal Ballet in England, as you can see. And eh, anyway Julian and I had lunch together one day and I said, ‘Julian how did you get to be a dancer?’ And she said it was interesting; when she was at school she was really hopeless.
And the school in the thirties wrote to her parents and said, ‘we think Julian has a learning disorder.’ She couldn’t concentrate, she was fidgeting. I think now they’d say she had ADHD, wouldn’t you? But this was the 1930’s and ADHD hadn’t been invented, you know, at this point, so it wasn’t an available condition, you know. People weren’t aware they could have that.
Anyway, she went to see this specialist in this oak panelled room and she was there with her mother and she was led and sat on this chair at the end. And she sat on her hands for twenty minutes while this man talked to her mother about all the problems she was having at school. And at the end of it (because she was disturbing people and her homework was always late and so on, a little kid of eight) In the end, the doctor went and sat next to Julian and said I’ve listened to all these things your mother has told me I need to speak to her privately so he said, ‘wait here we’ll be back. we won’t be very long’ And they went and left her. But as they went out of the room, he turned on the radio that was sitting on his desk, and when they got out of the room, he said to her mother, ‘just stand and watch her.’
The minute they left the room she said she was on her feet moving to the music and they watched for a few minutes and he turned to her mother and said, ‘You know, Mrs Lynn, Julian isn’t sick she’s a dancer. Take her to a dance school.’ I said, ‘what happened? She said, ‘She did. I can’t tell you how wonderful it was. We walked into this room and it was full of people like me; people who couldn’t sit still. People who had to move to think.’
They did ballet, they did tap, they did jazz, they did modern, they did contemporary. She was eventually auditioned for the Royal Ballet School. She became a soloist. She had a wonderful career at the Royal Ballet. She eventually graduated from the Royal Ballet School and founded her own company; the Julian Lynn Dance Company, met Andrew Lloyd Weber.
She has been responsible for some of the most successful musical theatre productions in history. She has given pleasure to millions and she’s a multi- millionaire.
Somebody else might have put her on medication and told her to calm down.”
DIY: self-improvement
“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” - Flora Whittemore
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -Leo Tolstoy
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to
know the difference. " -Reinhold Niebuhr
Change and self-improvement are quite a common topic in my articles/blog posts/discussions/tweets/statuses, yet I keep finding new aspects to it, so get updated and read up. A quick post today, since I haven't slept in over four days... :)
The spring semester started at my university, although you can't tell it from the weather: the snow has left, and been replaced with ice. I kind of wish it had stayed...
Anyways, with the new semester I feel like there is always a certain feeling of opportunity in the air. The potential of things to come.
This semester, more than usual I feel like people around me are feeling it. Many of my friends have said ''I need to change my lifestyle'' or ''I need to rethink my life''. But it seems to me that people don't know how or where to start.
Luckily for you, my dear readers, that self-improvement has been my obsession since I was 9 years old. So I am here to help.
The point I want to emphasize is that it is always possible to change your life for the better. I feel like people don't understand this and sink into a state of hopeless misery and acceptance, which leads to depression. Don't allow your mind work tricks on you.
Step 1: Find an aspect of your life that seems incomplete or makes you unhappy. Make a list. And move on to step 2.
Step 2: Find something new, or a way to improve the old. Find a possible ''change''.
Step 3: Go out and do it.
Seems very simple, but people tend to get stuck on each of the three steps. Because practically, it may be a long period of time from one step to the other, with difficulties, set backs and doubts. So the most important thing is to stick with it and not allow yourself to cower back to your comfortable state of misery.
It may seem ironic, but people may prefer to be miserable, because it is comfortable and safe, as opposed to taking a risk and changing something in your life.
Step 1: Find an aspect of your life that seems incomplete or makes you unhappy. Make a list. And move on to step 2.
Step 2: Find something new, or a way to improve the old. Find a possible ''change''.
Step 3: Go out and do it.
Seems very simple, but people tend to get stuck on each of the three steps. Because practically, it may be a long period of time from one step to the other, with difficulties, set backs and doubts. So the most important thing is to stick with it and not allow yourself to cower back to your comfortable state of misery.
It may seem ironic, but people may prefer to be miserable, because it is comfortable and safe, as opposed to taking a risk and changing something in your life.
Tango: A Journey. (My Journey)
"Dancers are the athletes of God" -
To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. ~Agnes De Mille
“Other music exists to heal wounds; but the tango
when sung and played is for the purpose of opening them, for the
purpose of sticking you finger in the wound and to tear them until they
bleed”
“Life is like Tango... sad, sensual, sexy, violent and quiet.
Angela Monet I want to take the opportunity to tell you about one of the most important aspects of my life, and, perhaps, why you should consider adopting it into yours as well.
I’m talking about Dance.
I've had this feeling for most of my childhood, a beating, burning sensation of potential inside of me. I wanted to dance. More than anything. But being the extremely passive child that I was, I never spoke up, never pursued it. Yea, I wanted to dance. But I made excuses. There was no opportunity. I had to study. I had to get good grades. I was silent.
But the summer I visited my sister, a year before graduating from high school, I realized that I could actually do it. My sister decided to take bellydancing classes at the gym. I went with her, but had no intention of joining. I was just going to work out. But standing there, behind the glass door of the dance studio, I suddenly felt that burning sensation again. Why couldn't I? Yes, bellydance was as far from my life as perhaps, molecular physics, but why not?
Why not?
I wish I could say that the class was mindboggling... but it wasn't. It was full of old or fat women who simply had nothing else to do and had no real interest in dance. But it was a beginning.
It was my beginning.
I took bellydance classes on and off through out the school year when I got back home... But nothing serious. I had to graduate with excellence... and dance was always falling to second... well, more like seventeenth place in my list of priorities.
But in my first year of college I realized that I could not hold it back any longer. My university was terrible and did not require any effort of my part. My GPA was 4.00, without having to barely lift a finger. I had time. Finally. I had the opportunity. And for the first time in my life I stood up and took it.
I joined the Latin dance club. I just went, asked around and joined.
I did something real for the first time in my life.
And for a while it was good. But Latin and I didn't mix well... My lack of balance and fear of falling just didn't work with all the turns and spins. I was looking for something more..
And then I heard that there is a tango club. And I went to ask about times... The lady looked at the clock and said, actually.. class starts in 5 minutes. And I decided... why not?
Now, I knew nothing about tango. I knew from bad Hollywood movies, that the colors are black and red, that people dance with roses in their teeth, mostly going sideways, cheek to cheek.
Boy was I in for a surprise...! When the first two months all we did was walk. Mostly backwards. I thought... what had I gotten myself into? I hated it. It was so boring...!
Until... I'm not sure of the moment... But once I was selected for the show group and we started going to milongas (special tango nights) and seeing professional dancers... At some point I realized...
Dance was the missing element in my life. Dance is what I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. I found it.
I found... Me.
And I found Tango.
And since that moment... I can't let it go. I started ballet classes. I bought en pointe shoes and am not training myself to stand in them. I'm not sure why or for what purpose...
It's just a feeling, incomparable to anything else I've ever felt.
I can't really describe what makes the tango so special. It's something about the fact that it's completely improvised, based on the passion and energy of the partners and the music. The closeness. The tragic emotions. The rhythm of the music coinciding with your heartbeat.
There is something addictive in the tango. Really. Those who feel the real energy of the tango once, are enslaved to it for a lifetime. It really is quite amazing, unlike any other types of dances, that concentrate on steps and beats. Tango focuses on energy.
It is now three years later, I look back and smile silently. I really had no idea what I was getting into. And what an important part of my life I had discovered. :)
And now that you know the background story, let me educate you:
Argentine Tango
Before you start thinking about holding a red rose in your mouth and shuffling around to the “la cumparsita”, like I did at the beginning of my tango life, let me tell you something. Tango is nothing like what you’ve heard of.
Simply, the tango teaches us how to behave in life. The
ideal leader and follower in description come very close to what we can expect
the ideal man and woman to be. The dance inspires confidence, compromise,
communication, trust.
And of course, like any other physical activity, it’s very
healthy, as it strengthens muscles, flexibility, correct spinal alignment,
balance, grace, etc. And now specifically to the genders: for women, I cannot
stress strongly enough how important it is to have a sense of your own body,
for me this is a large part of the very essence of being a woman: having to do
with beauty, grace, self-esteem and creativity; as for men: the most attractive
thing in a man is confidence. No wonder women all swoon in unison when they see
male dancers performing! A man who knows how to dance not only understands how
his body works, but also learns about the woman, how she moves and how he
should lead her. Now, trust me, this is useful not only in the dance floor.... ;)
But, if all of this sounds too complicated, there is also
another aspect: it’s simply a very beautiful, fun dance, and it’s a wonderful
social event. There are large tango communities in every large city in the
world nowadays, with special tango nights, practices, festivals and shows for
all levels of dancers.
So, why not? It may be something you can try for fun, for exercise, as a way of bonding with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner... or who knows, you may get addicted and open up a dance studio someday. I will be very happy to meet and dance with you :)
So, why not? It may be something you can try for fun, for exercise, as a way of bonding with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner... or who knows, you may get addicted and open up a dance studio someday. I will be very happy to meet and dance with you :)
"When the tango took hold of me, it was as if I had found the ultimate lover. No single experience can be as fascinating as this dance. No single work of art is so replete with all the joy and sorrow and longing and tragi-comedy of the human race, as is a tango danced between a man and a woman. It is labyrinthine, yet so simple. Each lasts just a few moments, yet it is eternal. There is a purity amidst all its complexities. The more one searches for the meaning behind its mystery, the ever more elusive is the tango... And yet, it is what it is, and we can see it, hear it, feel it, breathe it, live it, in the pleasure of its immediacy. Those of us it holds in its power - we want to shape our whole lives around it, its cadences, its sweat, its subtle messages and surging desires. The tango changes us forever. It changed me forever. Never have I been so intensely in love. Never had I felt so intensely alive. It helps me forget. And it helps me remember sweetly." - la nuit blanche
Metamorphosis
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| Image Copyright: Elena Vizerskaya, aka Kassandra Amazing Ukrainian artist, view her port at http://www.photodom.com/member/kassandra |
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson
“The key to change... is to let go of fear.” -Rosanne Cash
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” -Reinhold Niebuhr
It's a concept that is at the base of everyone's life, but our attitudes and reactions to it differ. Let us discuss..
The fear that comes along with change is quite natural. The first type inspires fear of the new and different, the second - fear of the unknown and fear of the loss of control.
That's when we first feel the rush of power that comes with being in control, the power to change things in your life. And as you get older, you get more opportunity to realize that power. And more freedom.
And if any of you have the same problem, I now address you. Don't.
You mustn't let fear hold you back. (In reasonable situations, of course.)
This is the part when I should say that it's the inner change that is more important. But I hold you, my readers, in enough esteem to assume that you know this, so I will elaborate only briefly...
When you want to evolve, you have to start with your inner world, and the rest will follow. You cannot expect your world to change if you do not make the effort to change something within yourself first.
But inner change is the most difficult one of them all. I've heard it said countless times: ''people don't change'', ''it's impossible''. Well, those of you who read my blod reguarly must know how I feel about the word ''impossible''. It's not only total BS, but it's also like a challange for me.
Impossible? Let me prove you wrong. Anyway...
Never. Ever. Change for someone else. Or to fit someones' standarts or expectations. I mean, you can, but ultimately, if done for the wrong reasons, whatever the change was, it will come crashing down and backfire against you. And what good will that do you?
Whatever self-improvement plan you have, you need to question it:
- Who am I doing this for?
- Was it my idea?
- Will it benefit me?
- Will I stand by it if my family/friends don't support it?
- Will I be able to keep it up long-term?
It's hard to tell the difference sometimes, I know, and it is ok to keep some of these things in the back of your mind as a bonus, but your main reason should be yourself. Any change you impliment on yourself should be your decision. For you. Be selfish in a certain extent!
OK, and a final aspect:
Change can be a fabulous way to.. well... change. That was a badly constructed sentence, but I hope you can follow what I mean. Sometimes we get stuck in bad situations, whether its a relationship, an attitude, a social environment or a belief system. And sometimes we don't have the emotional strength or inspiration to make a big inner change. So we can help ourselves through outer change. Women do this often, and I am very guilty of it. Change your hair color, style of clothing, move to a different city. This new, exciting development can serve as a final push that you need to really change, inside.
Although I must warn you that this is much, much harder than it seems. As a person who's moved from country to country her entire life, I can tell you for sure: unless you make an effort, you will, ALWAYS, take your problems with you. You cannot escape the lessons that you must learn, the experiences that you must go through. A different city will not save you. Unless, you are willing to work at it.
For example, if you are shy, you may think that transfering to a different school will give you a chance to be different. So you do. And what usually happens? You settle into the same situation. You cannot run from yourself. So the most important part is working on your inner change. Use the outer change as a helping factor, not the basis.
Yes, at first it might seem fake. You might need to push yourself, write little post-it notes on your mirror, wear a special ring or bracelet that will remind you to be different. But after a while...you will get use to it. The people around you will get use to it. And once they accept it, they will expect it from you, so it will be easier.
Now, let me make something clear: I am a firm believer in being yourself. So do not think that this article is propaganda for you to go out and become a different person.
Self-improvement change should be about releasing your inner self, becoming a better person, a better YOU, becoming the kind of person that you want to be.
Good luck!
What do you think? Comments, constructive criticisms, anything. Drop me a comment below.
(Also I'd like feedback on the fact that I'm making the blog more personal, using examples from my own life, which I wasn't doing before. Good change, or should I stick to the theory?)
Whats your script?
"We are born into a system. The world is already formed beforehand. It seems that your life is just beginning, but you are never given a blank page. You are given a script." - Unknown
''Create the world you dream with every choice you make.'' -Stephen C. Paul
When we are born, we are given a script called ''This is what your life should be like"
And we don't really have much of a choice in the matter.
And we start playing:
The first chapter, childhood.
Pre-school, playing with toys, learning to ride a bike, running around screaming in happiness, eating ice cream and candy until your stomach hurts.
Then, teenage years.
School, being moody, doing crazy things, not listening to your parents, experimenting, being messy, loving, crying, piercing your tongue.
Young adult
University, relationships, sex, car, parties, alcohol.
Adult
Marriage, children, big house, job, money.
Senior
Retirement
My question is, ''is that all?''
Really, is that all life has to offer? Don't we have any choice?
Of course we do. But when we people try to get away from the script, they are judged. Severely. They are labeled. ''weird'', ''rebellious'', ''anti-____''.
but all they try to do is do something different.
Different isn't wrong. That's a stereotype I really think that people should be aware of and try to let go. Its not wrong, weird or anti-anything. It's just different. We are all unique beings. We have the right to choose our path in life. Who says we all have to choose the same one?
Does everybody really need to get 16+ years of education? Does everyone have to hate their parents when they are teenagers? Does everyone have to drink until passing out every weekend as college students?
Rhetorical questions, really. But why do we still give in to the stereotype? Even the most modern and open of us give in to it. ''Different is wrong. Discourage them. Make them come back to the mass of sameness''
Its sad, really.
An example: I have plenty of experience in living in historically Muslim countries. And what surprises me is that ''modern'' Muslim people drink alcohol, even though officially it's forbidden. But moreover, they judge Muslims who don't drink alcohol because of religious beliefs. They ask ''what's wrong with you?'', label them as conservative, or old fashioned. But who said that getting drunk is something everyone has to do?
Personally I prefer these things to be not forced by religion or cultural beliefs, but by your personal decisions. For example, I'm a vegetarian. Not because my parents, my church, God, animal protection organizations, dieting specialists, doctors, etc, told me so. Because I decided. That's it.
People ask me the reason, and they expect me to say one of these things. It's so much easier to use those things, to use an excuse, than to stand by your beliefs. Because without the support of the church, God, family behind you, you're alone. And you get judged for being different. Because it was your initiative to change something about your life. No one told you to. That's the hard way.
The example that inspired me to write this article is the story of Elizabeth Scharpf, that was published in the NY Times. She had everything going for her in her script. A top university and good-paying career ahead of her. But she decided to move to Nepal and teach underprivileged children.
( read about her story at http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/24/magazine/24volunteerism-t.html )
Crazy? Weird? or Heroic?
What's the difference? It's in your attitude.
YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR REALITY.
What my point is, don't judge people. And choose for yourself. Don't accept things blindly. And be open for people's decisions. So what if it's a little far from what you're use to?
Casualization of Intimacy, or, R.I.P. Love
"Sex relieves tension - love causes it." ~Woody Allen
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best." ~Woody Allen"Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics. " ~Author Unknown
Now, I expect this to stir up some controversy, because I am about to attack a subject that seems to be the most popular and best thing since, oh I don't know, since chocolate maybe. But seriously, I missed the memo. When did sex become a casual part of life? Free of emotions, attachment, or relationships? When did sex lower itself down to the level of routineness of brushing your teeth? Honestly...
Now, I am not a supporter of abstinence, God forbid. But what is going on in society nowadays is just disgusting. And I have to say it. Women have become sick of being treated as sex objects, so they have decided to let men treat them as sex objects, and they started to like it, so they turned the tables around: started acting like men, using them for sex. Surprised? Or did you think only men had needs?
Statistically, women think about sex up to 34 times in an average day, that works out at the equivalent of once every 14 minutes. For men, the number is, on average, about every 6 seconds.
OK. So for some reason people are naturally very horny all the time. But that doesn't mean that hooking up randomly is the only rational solution.
And I do not believe in all that bullshit people say to try to prove that its ok: that its just for fun, that its just 'fucking', that its an easy substitute for intimacy for people who don't have time to commit. Please.
Sex is the most intimate way for people to connect, the only way for them to experience something so deep and I won't even be afraid to use the word spiritual, for them to actually, physically, be one. And what people do with it, they lower it down to such a low level of just rubbing body parts together and exchanging fluid. Its sad. Its like taking yoga poses and performing them in a strip club with people masturbating.
Some things should be kept sacred. I don't think its necessary to cover the normal reasons, aka STDs and pregrancy, or emotional trauma. It's more than that. I just can't understand how people can detach like that. How can you allow a stranger, sometimes a complete stranger, be so close and intimate, know your body, be with you in moments when you are completely beyond rational control of thought. It seems that its unnatural for women, being that are naturally prone to being loving and nurturing, to be so detached. It's like we shot anesthetic into our hearts. If we can't find love, this is the next best thing, eh?
But why, why should we sell ourselves so cheaply? We do we not hope, expect for something special? Why are we not prepared to wait for it?
Now I am not against sex. It's actually a very healthy activity. Even scientifically:
More and more studies are showing increased
emotional and physical benefits from frequent safe sex.
- Lower mortality rates.
- Reduced risk of prostate cancer.
- Improves posture.
- Boosts self esteem.
- Makes a person feel younger.
- Firms tummy and buttocks.
- Keeps spouses connected emotionally.
- Offers pain-relief.
- Gives people a positive attitude on life.
- Reduced risk of heart disease.
- Makes a person more calm.
- Improves fitness level.
- Makes a person less irritable.
- Reduced depression.
- Improved sense of smell.
- Has a therapeutic effect on immune system.
- Better bladder control.
- Relieves menstrual cramps.
- Helps people sleep better.
- Improves digestion.
- Healthier teeth.
- Helps improve memory.
- Produces chemicals in the brain to stimulate the growth of new dendrites.
- Lowers the level of cortisol, a hormone that can trigger fatigue and cravings.
- Lowers feelings of insecurity.
- Increases level of commitment.
- Less-frequent colds and flu.
- It can help people achieve weight loss since about 200 calories are burned during 30 minutes of active sex.
- Studies are also showing that it is a myth that abstinence can sharpen a person's competitive edge.
I will say again, I am no way against sex. I actually think I have a much higher sex drive then I should, but I, not because of religion, or what my family says, or whatever. I, just for me, am prepared to only engage in it with someone who I care about. Someone who will not disappear the next morning. But instead might bring me breakfast. And you know for sure he will be rewarded double. Some things have to be worth the effort. More effort = more reward.
“Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top becuase they value quality.”
Why have we lost faith in love? Why do we go searching for the lower, easier ways to achieve pleasure? Is love not worth the effort anymore? I didn't get the memo, really. Must have gotten lost. Everybody else seems to have got it. Men aren't even shy about asking for sex anymore. Damn, in Ukraine, you're likely to be asked for sex from complete strangers on the street from 1-10 times daily. Other cultures are a bit more discrete- they might buy you a drink first and tell you you're pretty. The worst kind are those who fake an effort, take you out, be nice to you, AND THEN drop the casual sex offer. When you say no, all of them disappear just the same, though. So it seems like its nearly impossible to tell the difference. Until you do. And when you do you'll know it. And you'll finally understand that it was worth it. And you may regret having given away so much of your love for free. So just think twice. And never loose hope. Love will find you, you just have to be ready to accept it into your life when it does.
Now, just for fun, here are some statistics:
Durex Survey (2003) Highlights:
Nothing is Impossible
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” - Oscar Wilde
Our
existence on Earth is temporary. Fact. We have a limited amount of
time, but also an unlimited amount of opportunities of how to spend it.
So, it is shocking to me then to observe exactly how many people live
their lives in passivity, refusing, or perhaps simply being afraid, to
take control.
As children our lives
are planned out for us by our parents or guardians. We live in a
passive state, because we do not yet have the freedom to choose. But
once we hit puberty, things start to change. Everybody has a breaking
point, in which the world suddenly goes from pink and fluffy to full
color, contrast, saturation and all that. We realize that we are able
to think and decide for ourselves. But for some strange reason, not
many people take full advantage of this power. We accept stereotypes,
rules and prejudices; we let ourselves be carried along with the flow.
And if we do use our power, we usually use it to protest against rules,
to do things we shouldn't, etc. Just because we can. But this is only
one aspect of this power, and not a very positive one at that.
Nothing is impossible.
In
other words, with a lot of drive and effort, anything is possible. But
why then so we let these opportunities slip by? Our lives, the time we
have is the most important thing we have, how can we be lazy about it?
"Every day, God gives us, as well as the sun, a moment when it is possible to change anything that is causing us unhappiness. The magic moment is the moment when a "yes" or a "no" can change our whole existence. Every day, we try to pretend that we do not see that moment, that it does not exist, that today is the same as yesterday and that tomorrow will be the same too. However, anyone who pays close attention to his day will discover the magic moment… a moment in which all the strength of the stars flows through us and allows us to perform miracles."
(By Paulo Coelho, from "By the river Piedra I sat Down and Wept")
We
settle into a routine, our safety blanket, and shut everything else
out. Because of Fear. It is the strongest force that holds us back. We
are afraid of the new, unusual, unknown. Because we cannot categorize
or stereotype something we haven't experienced, it doesn't fit in our
minds, so we push it away. We're afraid to make mistakes, of failing,
or regretting our decisions later.
But what are mistakes anyway? And who has the right to judge?
Why do you think that even YOU have the right to decide what was a mistake and what wasn't? How
do you know? You don't ever, ever see the Bigger Picture, of how
something terrible could have set of a chain reaction that lead to
something wonderful. You can only guess, regret, worry, etc. But what
for? You can think of what could of, should of, would of happened, but
in the end its simply a waste of precious time.
We make decisions. Every minute of every day. With these decisions we control the course of our lives.
Of
course there must be both good and bad things, mistakes are
unavoidable, but we must do the best we can, strive to be the best we
can be. If we never try we will never succeed. If we always retreat we
can never have victory.
So, what are you waiting for...?
So, what are you waiting for...?
(PUBLISHED: BILNEWS, MARCH 3RD 2010, PAGE 5)
Do you DARE? [to be yourself]
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” -Margaret MeadDespite the contradiction, there is an undeniable truth in the sentence above. There are billions of people in the world, and every single one is an exceptional, irreplaceable individual. But look around you and you might be surprised. Everyone is wearing the similar shoes, clothing, hair styles, listening to the same music… Do you suppose that everyone is really thinking for themselves and this is a just a coincidence? Or, did we allow certain stereotypes of “normality”, “coolness”, “beauty” or “perfection” to take over our lives, influence the way we think and perceive the world?
I think the theory that our preferences and tastes are something we our born with is not entirely true. When we were children we were not aware of the fact that our eyelashes have to be longer, our waists smaller, our teeth whiter, etc. We did not know that wearing different brands, styles or even colors of clothing sometimes affects the way people perceive you.
When we were little, we were accepted and loved just because we existed. We were simply ourselves and it was enough. So at what point in our lives did it stop being enough? And, more importantly, why? Why is it that most of us feel forced to conform to the stereotype of how we ‘should’ act and look like? The general answer to this is fear. We are afraid to be different, because we dread not being loved or accepted. We care about what people think of us. Every single move we make, either consciously or not, we evaluate how people will react. We’re afraid of being laughed at, rejected or scorned, because we need other people in order to feel complete.
Now, I’m not saying that self-improvement is a bad thing, it’s a vital part of life. But once we start to change ourselves only in order to “fit in”, we are not only lying to everyone around us through a type of false advertising, but we are also lying to ourselves, which is much worse. And we are also purging society of uniqueness and variety.
So is it worth it?
Our differences are the thing that what make us unique and interesting. It’s what makes our lives fun and colorful. So, why not dare to be different? Dare to be yourself and don’t care what others think of it. I am convinced that if you stay true to your heart, you will find people that will love you for who you are, and not who you are trying to be. Dare to be imperfect, natural, think for yourself. And, of course, be open about other people’s individuality. And I think the world will be a much better place.
(PUBLISHED: BILNEWS, FEBRUARY 16TH, 2010, PAGE 2)
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