Live In The NOW
"If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.- Jim Carrey
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
- John Lennon
Our entire lives are based on the future. Think about it. Ironic
isn’t it? We live now, to live later. We go to school to graduate, we
get a job to have money later, we meet people to get married and build a
family. We set up our lives for the prospect of being happy later.
My question to you is: what about the now?
It seems like we get so into looking forward to the future we forget
to stop and look around. Have you walked the same path every day of the
year, and only after 6 months or so you finally noticed something
interesting that’s been there all along? Where were you looking? Or were
you looking at all? Life nowadays is so stressful and busy, it seems
like we have retreated to living in our heads. And our bodies simply
serve the purpose of transporting our head.
Have we forgotten how to live in the moment? Why do I say “forgotten”? Because we had that gift. When we were children.
I love watching children. It’s a type of therapy for me. Not playing
with them, simply watching is enough. It seems to me that children are
the embodiment of everything that we adults have lost: innocence, sense
of adventure, unstoppable curiosity and thirst for discovering new
things, the lack of fear of failure, the confidence in their safety and
happiness. Children do not need two weeks to plan something fun. They
know that every moment is an opportunity. They believe in the
opportunity. If you think about it, its almost like… magic.
“Everyday, God gives us the sun- and also one moment in which we
have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Everyday,
we try to pretend that we haven’t perceived that moment, that it doesn’t
exist- that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as
tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives,
they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant that
we are doing something mundane, like putting the front door key in the
lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour, or in
the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. But that
moment exists- a moment all the power of the stars becomes a part of us
to perform miracles.”- Osho
Now, I want you to go outside and take a full minute to just look at the sky. One minute. Look up, breathe. Feel alive.
the SECRET
“You create your own universe as you go along.” -Winston Churchill
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can
alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” -William James
“You want to become aware of your thoughts, you want to choose
your thoughts carefully and you want to have fun with this, because you
are the masterpiece of your own life.” – Joe Vitale
I was inspired by a documentary this
week, so if you have a minute in between studying and panicking, take a
look. It’s called “the Secret”. And what is this secret?
It’s very simple. It’s the Law of Attraction.
It’s a modern scientific theory that has to do with the effect of
”like attracts like”. It combines science and philosophy, in the sense
that it bases itself on the idea from physics that everything, if taken
to the basic level, is made up of energy. And thus, any thought you have
is not just a thought, but is also a strong impulse of energy, that
makes a difference in the flow of events in your life.
The Law states: I
attract to myself, whatever I give my focus, attention, or energy to;
whether wanted or unwanted. If you think about being poor, lonely,
unwanted and believe your thoughts, then guess what? That is exactly
what you’ll be. This Law applies to your life and every other person’s
life on the planet. Like all laws, it is impartial and impersonal, which
means it works when you want it to and when you don’t want it to.
This has happened, I’m sure, to nearly everyone. Think about it. If
you spend days afraid something will happen, it will most surely happen.
And when you are in a bad situation, everything seems to get worse and
worse. And on the contrary, happy people seem to have good things happen
to them.
You do not need to accept this as your new life philosophy,
especially since there are many criticisms of this theory (well, just as
any theory…) But try to pay attention to it. What I can guarantee is
that it wont hurt you to just make some small changes in your attitude
and lifestyle. And how do you know? Maybe this can dramatically alter
your life.
Simply think positively. Think about what you want in life. Make a
list. Stay away from negatives, such as ”I don’t want to be alone”, or
”I don’t want to be sad.” THINK IN THE POSITIVE.
“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations.
I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace
rally, I’ll be there.” -Mother Teresa
What I think is a good idea is just to start to be aware of your
thoughts. If you’re sad, just fake a smile. You’ll feel better even if
you’re pretending. It’s like a placebo effect at first, but once the
endorphins start flowing in your body, you will feel genuinely better.
Pay attention to the music you listen to. Is it focused on negative
emotions? What kind of things you discuss with friends? Do you spend all
your time whining about your problems instead of finding solutions?
Imagine starting to believe in yourself and your infinite
possibilities. Imagine believing you deserve everything you want out of
life. Imagine getting everything you want out of life. Feel as if you
already accomplished it.
If even you don’t believe in it, then how can you expect to achieve it?
Once you apply the Law of Attraction everything is possible.
“When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead… True story !” – Barney Stinson, from How I Met Your Mother.
Education vs Creativity
“My education was interrupted only by my schooling”- Winston Churchill
Following up on my last post about a phenomenon called the Indigo Children, I would like to elaborate on the most important idea: that, whether or not you believe in the indigos, it is undeniable that today’s world is moving very quickly, and we must keep up with it. We cannot afford to have one of the most important systems –education- become outdated.
Children nowadays are different, whether we explain it by evolution of genetics or by simple adaptations to the new technologies and challenges of today. My four year old niece has her own laptop, and calls me on skype on her own. I didn’t have an e-mail address until I was about 13 or so.
The world is changing, but the education system is still the same. Mathematics and the sciences at the top, physical education and arts at the bottom. And it is aimed at making everybody the same. Standardized. And anything different is wrong. If you’re not good at math, its practically the same as saying you’re going to fail at life. And before it was like that: you had to learn facts, graduate, get a college degree, get a good job.
But now everything is different. A college degree isn’t a guarantee of a good job. You need something extra. You need to be innovative, creative. You need to stand out, to be different.But isn’t it ironic that your entire life you had to learn to fit in, learn to follow rules and be inside the box, and suddenly, its’ like, none of that really matters.
Creativity is what drives progress. It’s what, in a way “makes the world go round”
So why is it that the education system seems to be aimed at stripping children of the gift of creativity?
This article was inspired by a video that was sent to me from one of you, my dear readers, of a speaker at the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) conference, Sir Ken Robinson, called “Do Schools Kill Creativity?” (Please youtube it when you have a free minute.)
He talks about the fact that education has its priorities wrong: not to teach really, and not to inspire and light a spark in the children, but to fill them with the standard program and create a fear of making mistakes. He makes an incredibly good point during his presentation: “If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original.”
It’s the idea that children and young adults have this burning potential, that, if not recognized, or if it’s suffocated by standardization, can go to waste. He gives an example:
“I’m doing a new book at the moment called, Epiphany, which is based on a series of interviews with people about how they discovered their talent. I’m fascinated about how people got to be there. It’s really prompted by a conversation I had with a wonderful woman who most people have never heard of, she’s called, Julian Lynn.
Have you heard of her? Some have. She’s a choreographer and everybody knows her work. She did Cats and Phantom of the Opera. She’s wonderful. I used to be on the board of the Royal Ballet in England, as you can see. And eh, anyway Julian and I had lunch together one day and I said, ‘Julian how did you get to be a dancer?’ And she said it was interesting; when she was at school she was really hopeless.
And the school in the thirties wrote to her parents and said, ‘we think Julian has a learning disorder.’ She couldn’t concentrate, she was fidgeting. I think now they’d say she had ADHD, wouldn’t you? But this was the 1930’s and ADHD hadn’t been invented, you know, at this point, so it wasn’t an available condition, you know. People weren’t aware they could have that.
Anyway, she went to see this specialist in this oak panelled room and she was there with her mother and she was led and sat on this chair at the end. And she sat on her hands for twenty minutes while this man talked to her mother about all the problems she was having at school. And at the end of it (because she was disturbing people and her homework was always late and so on, a little kid of eight) In the end, the doctor went and sat next to Julian and said I’ve listened to all these things your mother has told me I need to speak to her privately so he said, ‘wait here we’ll be back. we won’t be very long’ And they went and left her. But as they went out of the room, he turned on the radio that was sitting on his desk, and when they got out of the room, he said to her mother, ‘just stand and watch her.’
The minute they left the room she said she was on her feet moving to the music and they watched for a few minutes and he turned to her mother and said, ‘You know, Mrs Lynn, Julian isn’t sick she’s a dancer. Take her to a dance school.’ I said, ‘what happened? She said, ‘She did. I can’t tell you how wonderful it was. We walked into this room and it was full of people like me; people who couldn’t sit still. People who had to move to think.’
They did ballet, they did tap, they did jazz, they did modern, they did contemporary. She was eventually auditioned for the Royal Ballet School. She became a soloist. She had a wonderful career at the Royal Ballet. She eventually graduated from the Royal Ballet School and founded her own company; the Julian Lynn Dance Company, met Andrew Lloyd Weber.
She has been responsible for some of the most successful musical theatre productions in history. She has given pleasure to millions and she’s a multi- millionaire.
Somebody else might have put her on medication and told her to calm down.”
DIY: self-improvement
“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” - Flora Whittemore
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -Leo Tolstoy
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to
know the difference. " -Reinhold Niebuhr
Change and self-improvement are quite a common topic in my articles/blog posts/discussions/tweets/statuses, yet I keep finding new aspects to it, so get updated and read up. A quick post today, since I haven't slept in over four days... :)
The spring semester started at my university, although you can't tell it from the weather: the snow has left, and been replaced with ice. I kind of wish it had stayed...
Anyways, with the new semester I feel like there is always a certain feeling of opportunity in the air. The potential of things to come.
This semester, more than usual I feel like people around me are feeling it. Many of my friends have said ''I need to change my lifestyle'' or ''I need to rethink my life''. But it seems to me that people don't know how or where to start.
Luckily for you, my dear readers, that self-improvement has been my obsession since I was 9 years old. So I am here to help.
The point I want to emphasize is that it is always possible to change your life for the better. I feel like people don't understand this and sink into a state of hopeless misery and acceptance, which leads to depression. Don't allow your mind work tricks on you.
Step 1: Find an aspect of your life that seems incomplete or makes you unhappy. Make a list. And move on to step 2.
Step 2: Find something new, or a way to improve the old. Find a possible ''change''.
Step 3: Go out and do it.
Seems very simple, but people tend to get stuck on each of the three steps. Because practically, it may be a long period of time from one step to the other, with difficulties, set backs and doubts. So the most important thing is to stick with it and not allow yourself to cower back to your comfortable state of misery.
It may seem ironic, but people may prefer to be miserable, because it is comfortable and safe, as opposed to taking a risk and changing something in your life.
Step 1: Find an aspect of your life that seems incomplete or makes you unhappy. Make a list. And move on to step 2.
Step 2: Find something new, or a way to improve the old. Find a possible ''change''.
Step 3: Go out and do it.
Seems very simple, but people tend to get stuck on each of the three steps. Because practically, it may be a long period of time from one step to the other, with difficulties, set backs and doubts. So the most important thing is to stick with it and not allow yourself to cower back to your comfortable state of misery.
It may seem ironic, but people may prefer to be miserable, because it is comfortable and safe, as opposed to taking a risk and changing something in your life.
Metamorphosis
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| Image Copyright: Elena Vizerskaya, aka Kassandra Amazing Ukrainian artist, view her port at http://www.photodom.com/member/kassandra |
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson
“The key to change... is to let go of fear.” -Rosanne Cash
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” -Reinhold Niebuhr
It's a concept that is at the base of everyone's life, but our attitudes and reactions to it differ. Let us discuss..
The fear that comes along with change is quite natural. The first type inspires fear of the new and different, the second - fear of the unknown and fear of the loss of control.
That's when we first feel the rush of power that comes with being in control, the power to change things in your life. And as you get older, you get more opportunity to realize that power. And more freedom.
And if any of you have the same problem, I now address you. Don't.
You mustn't let fear hold you back. (In reasonable situations, of course.)
This is the part when I should say that it's the inner change that is more important. But I hold you, my readers, in enough esteem to assume that you know this, so I will elaborate only briefly...
When you want to evolve, you have to start with your inner world, and the rest will follow. You cannot expect your world to change if you do not make the effort to change something within yourself first.
But inner change is the most difficult one of them all. I've heard it said countless times: ''people don't change'', ''it's impossible''. Well, those of you who read my blod reguarly must know how I feel about the word ''impossible''. It's not only total BS, but it's also like a challange for me.
Impossible? Let me prove you wrong. Anyway...
Never. Ever. Change for someone else. Or to fit someones' standarts or expectations. I mean, you can, but ultimately, if done for the wrong reasons, whatever the change was, it will come crashing down and backfire against you. And what good will that do you?
Whatever self-improvement plan you have, you need to question it:
- Who am I doing this for?
- Was it my idea?
- Will it benefit me?
- Will I stand by it if my family/friends don't support it?
- Will I be able to keep it up long-term?
It's hard to tell the difference sometimes, I know, and it is ok to keep some of these things in the back of your mind as a bonus, but your main reason should be yourself. Any change you impliment on yourself should be your decision. For you. Be selfish in a certain extent!
OK, and a final aspect:
Change can be a fabulous way to.. well... change. That was a badly constructed sentence, but I hope you can follow what I mean. Sometimes we get stuck in bad situations, whether its a relationship, an attitude, a social environment or a belief system. And sometimes we don't have the emotional strength or inspiration to make a big inner change. So we can help ourselves through outer change. Women do this often, and I am very guilty of it. Change your hair color, style of clothing, move to a different city. This new, exciting development can serve as a final push that you need to really change, inside.
Although I must warn you that this is much, much harder than it seems. As a person who's moved from country to country her entire life, I can tell you for sure: unless you make an effort, you will, ALWAYS, take your problems with you. You cannot escape the lessons that you must learn, the experiences that you must go through. A different city will not save you. Unless, you are willing to work at it.
For example, if you are shy, you may think that transfering to a different school will give you a chance to be different. So you do. And what usually happens? You settle into the same situation. You cannot run from yourself. So the most important part is working on your inner change. Use the outer change as a helping factor, not the basis.
Yes, at first it might seem fake. You might need to push yourself, write little post-it notes on your mirror, wear a special ring or bracelet that will remind you to be different. But after a while...you will get use to it. The people around you will get use to it. And once they accept it, they will expect it from you, so it will be easier.
Now, let me make something clear: I am a firm believer in being yourself. So do not think that this article is propaganda for you to go out and become a different person.
Self-improvement change should be about releasing your inner self, becoming a better person, a better YOU, becoming the kind of person that you want to be.
Good luck!
What do you think? Comments, constructive criticisms, anything. Drop me a comment below.
(Also I'd like feedback on the fact that I'm making the blog more personal, using examples from my own life, which I wasn't doing before. Good change, or should I stick to the theory?)
Whats your script?
"We are born into a system. The world is already formed beforehand. It seems that your life is just beginning, but you are never given a blank page. You are given a script." - Unknown
''Create the world you dream with every choice you make.'' -Stephen C. Paul
When we are born, we are given a script called ''This is what your life should be like"
And we don't really have much of a choice in the matter.
And we start playing:
The first chapter, childhood.
Pre-school, playing with toys, learning to ride a bike, running around screaming in happiness, eating ice cream and candy until your stomach hurts.
Then, teenage years.
School, being moody, doing crazy things, not listening to your parents, experimenting, being messy, loving, crying, piercing your tongue.
Young adult
University, relationships, sex, car, parties, alcohol.
Adult
Marriage, children, big house, job, money.
Senior
Retirement
My question is, ''is that all?''
Really, is that all life has to offer? Don't we have any choice?
Of course we do. But when we people try to get away from the script, they are judged. Severely. They are labeled. ''weird'', ''rebellious'', ''anti-____''.
but all they try to do is do something different.
Different isn't wrong. That's a stereotype I really think that people should be aware of and try to let go. Its not wrong, weird or anti-anything. It's just different. We are all unique beings. We have the right to choose our path in life. Who says we all have to choose the same one?
Does everybody really need to get 16+ years of education? Does everyone have to hate their parents when they are teenagers? Does everyone have to drink until passing out every weekend as college students?
Rhetorical questions, really. But why do we still give in to the stereotype? Even the most modern and open of us give in to it. ''Different is wrong. Discourage them. Make them come back to the mass of sameness''
Its sad, really.
An example: I have plenty of experience in living in historically Muslim countries. And what surprises me is that ''modern'' Muslim people drink alcohol, even though officially it's forbidden. But moreover, they judge Muslims who don't drink alcohol because of religious beliefs. They ask ''what's wrong with you?'', label them as conservative, or old fashioned. But who said that getting drunk is something everyone has to do?
Personally I prefer these things to be not forced by religion or cultural beliefs, but by your personal decisions. For example, I'm a vegetarian. Not because my parents, my church, God, animal protection organizations, dieting specialists, doctors, etc, told me so. Because I decided. That's it.
People ask me the reason, and they expect me to say one of these things. It's so much easier to use those things, to use an excuse, than to stand by your beliefs. Because without the support of the church, God, family behind you, you're alone. And you get judged for being different. Because it was your initiative to change something about your life. No one told you to. That's the hard way.
The example that inspired me to write this article is the story of Elizabeth Scharpf, that was published in the NY Times. She had everything going for her in her script. A top university and good-paying career ahead of her. But she decided to move to Nepal and teach underprivileged children.
( read about her story at http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/24/magazine/24volunteerism-t.html )
Crazy? Weird? or Heroic?
What's the difference? It's in your attitude.
YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR REALITY.
What my point is, don't judge people. And choose for yourself. Don't accept things blindly. And be open for people's decisions. So what if it's a little far from what you're use to?
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