well, that's just FABULOUS."

R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P.S.

why?

Beverly Clark: [when asked about why people marry] We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really matter? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

It's a bit romanticized for my cynical and sarcastic nature, but why not. Family doesn't work for that since by the time you mature you know them too well to like them all the time. Friends are usually unreliable. They come and go. With exceptions, of course. But most people come into your lives temporarily. It's sad, but true.

But relationships are different. When you decide to be in a relationship with someone you sort of sign a contract that obligated both of you to certain things, and entitles you to certain perks. But since this contract is never written down, I just wonder, how do you know if you both signed the same one? And what do you do with the fine print?

First of all I want to say that I believe that men and women really are from completely different planets. We work differently, think differently, have different wants, needs, desires. So, how can it ever work out?

Women need to feel safe and protected. I think that's the basic reason we find boyfriends. It's partially subconscious, partially instinct. And its just nice. We search for an alpha male, the one who is the strongest, bravest, most loyal. So he can wrap you up in his strong arms and you just know that nothing will happen to you while he's here. That if worst comes to worst, he will protect you, take care of you.

And Men? Well for a long time I had a theory that the only reason men settle down into relationships is because they get tired for searching for new sexual partners all the time. But I have seen many things happen since then. Guys getting married at 18 (and the girl isn't pregnant), driving for two hours everyday just to see their girl, walking over to the girls house in the middle of the night just to give her a hug if she feels shitty, taking boat trips and watching the sunset, making a gigantic heart shape from hundreds of candles on the street outside her window, etc. I began to doubt my theory.

I mean, there really isn't anything wrong with guys having an overly active sex drive. If they didn't humanity would very quickly die out.

I talked to one of my close girlfriends about it and this is what she said:

"After a while, if women don't have sex, [most] of them sort of forget about it. Women are sort of like camels, they can go ages without it."

So anyway... What are guys really looking for? I asked around and mostly I got "sexy", which doesn't give much hope. But you know what I think?

I think guys are just afraid to admit that they really need women. They like feeling cared for. Underneath all that raw masculinity they're fragile little fuzzy creatures that need their ego stroked all the time. They want to know that they have someone to create a warm, comfy nest for them to return to after a hard day, someone to make them food and make them feel appreciated.

So, i think they only way it can work is to find the 'golden center', the little space in the middle between Mars and Venus and settle there. It has to be 50/50, not without compromises and a lot of effort. Both have to give and receive. There is no other way.

But then, after all that work, despite being from different worlds, it does somehow work out. We complete each other, fill in the blanks, support each other when things get tough. So somehow it turns out okay. And if you're lucky. [and a bit patient.] it might just turn out a.m.a.z.i.n.g.

Related Posts : love, marriage, men, relationships, women