I have a confession to make.

We women completely openly lie about ourselves. About the way we are naturally. All the time.

It's even considered normal, expected. It's something good almost.

Yes I really am talking about make up. But I mean it more than just mascara and lip gloss, I mean the whole ''making yourself up'' bit. Hair, Coloring, Dieting, Operations, etc. The whole package.

Yes Yes I know its a bit of a step down from my usual global topics of love and yada yada, 

but I really think I'm on to something, so stay with me.

No, first let me mention that what is considered being vain and ''girly'' is not such a easy, mundane thing. If you care enough about your body, then simply taking care of yourself becomes a large investment of both time, effort and money. It takes a lot of trial and error, research and experiments to learn to get it right. And you also have to spend extra time tending to the negative effects of all the chemicals. By buying and applying more chemicals usually. My advice is go o r g a n i c. It's good for you and for the environment. Besides, don't you think nature knows best?

So now that I got that off my chest...

As usual let's start with the Why.

Q: Why so women wear make up/do their hair/diet/get silicone injected into their body?

A: To seem more attractive.

Notice the wording: to seem more attractive, not to be more attractive. Because we cannot really change who we are to begin with. A little bit with operations, but I don't believe in that. I just believe that it's a person with something foreign attached to them. It's not really a part of their body, ever. If it's something that has been removed, usually it will either come back (talking about liposuction here) or if will simply be a deformation of your natural state of being. (such as removing ribs to make your waist look smaller.)

Now on to the Who.

Q: For who do women do these things?

A1: For Men, or Women, or Both (depending on sexual preference; this blog supports Love in all its forms)

A2: For themselves

Now, let me just say that I am a great supporter of A2, but honestly, if I dip deep down inside I know that's a lie. Yes we can say we do it to feel more self confident, etc etc. But why does it make us feel more self confident? Because we are aware, maybe subconsciously, that we look good. But not just normal, puffy eyed, clogged pored natural-beauty-type of good. We look better. And that is what gives us that extra spring in our step, that extra boost. 

The other thing about A2 is we use it as a mask. It makes us feel safe, protected. Because we are following 'the rules', we fit in the system, and if we do, nothing can go wrong really. Who can reject us if we're pretty? Right?

Wrong. But more about that later..

Now, the real answer is A1. And we all know it, no matter how much we may deny it. We want to be attractive. Moreover we want to seem more attractive then we really are. Why? Because of competition. Because of the constant pressure from unrealistic standards set by ''them''.  We know that our natural beauty can only be appreciated by a few very close people. Everybody else just doesn't want to see it.  

We don't want the truth. We want perfection. I'm pissed as much as the next girl that all those girls on magazine covers are over photo shopped, liquefied and all that But would you really want to see them on the cover with pimples, wrinkles and cellulite? No. So we hate and whine about the system, but we are part of it and we love it. We love the drama, the impossibility of the standards. We can protest all we want, but people are very easily zombified.  Someone once decided that thin is beautiful and it all went downhill from there. Anorexia, Bulimia, Crash diets, Diet Pills, Weight Watchers, Fat free, low fat, light, sugar free. B. S. And everyone went along with it. It may make you thinner (usually temporarily), but it harms your body, which leads to faster exhaustion and shorter life span. Priorities, people, please!

If God wanted us all to be 60-90-60  (European version), or 36-24-36 (US version) he would have made us all equal, so to say. 

Why is it not obvious to everyone that our bodies are all different? Not using that as an excuse or anything, but seriously..! Bone structure in every person is different..! For example I have a pretty wide hips, so my ass will never measure 60 cm, I mean in a healthy way. Why this obsession with numbers?

And another thing, muscles weigh waaaaaaaaay more than fat does. So gaining muscle mass will virtually make you seem ''fatter'' on the scale.

We got so obsessed with numbers and stuff that we actually invented psychological diseases that make women starve themselves to death. Something is very. very. very. wrong with our society.

Now onto a different point. Who said that being a size 0 is good anyway?

Designers. Why? Because it's easier to fit anything to a size 0. Not for any other reason.

Now, women, think about it. MEN LIKE CURVES. Haven't you noticed the whole ass-boob obsession?

Now onto the most shocking point: when you loose weight, boobs are the first thing to go, and last thing to fill out when you gain weight. Fact. 

Men don't notice small weight changes. Fact.

Men would rather a girl be a bit overweight than be bony anyway. When a girl is overly skinny she looses her femininity, which is the whole point of being a girl. And she looses her sense of humor. Sometimes even her will to live.

Of course there are exceptions. Guys that love skinny girls. And girls who are skinny naturally. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about trying to change the way you should be to fit with the unrealistic standards of today's world.

The worst thing is the misuse to the whole idea of the 'diet'.

Diet- (Wikipedia) the sum of the food consumed by an organism or group.

Dieting- (Wikipedia) the deliberate selection of food to control body weight or nutrient intake.

Don't you see the distortion? A diet is a way of eating. Not a temporarily way of torturing yourself into a desperate state of constant hunger. This may produce results, but they will be only temporary. Once you're off your 'diet' you'll go back to eating normally and gain everything back.

Only way to stay at a certain healthy weight is to eat healthy, regularly. All the time. It's a lifestyle.You have to believe in it. Not just do it because its the right thing to do. Like any other lifestyle choice it requires a change of consciousness.

I've been dieting since I was nine years old. Fact.

I was a bit overweight as a kid. Fact. But that is no excuse. I've been doing better lately. But I still can't get rid of the feeling of guilt after every meal. I don't let myself eat more often than every 5 hours, so when I do eat I tend to stuff myself, since I know I won't let myself eat anytime soon. That's messed up ok? Don't give in.

Your body needs calories to operate.

It needs fat for warmth, for oil for the skin, for joints and stuff.

Loosing a lot of weight also f'cks up your hormones. Which leads to the f'ing up of pretty much everything else.

Deny your body and all you'll get is health problems.

So just be healthy. Exercise. Not to loose weight, but just so your body functions better. 

Your body is the temple of your soul. So take care of it. 

Have a well balanced diet. Balanced. Which means everything in rational proportions. Rational by the way your body works, not how magazines tell you to eat. Every body is different. Some people need to eat more, some people need to eat often, some people need to eat a lot of a certain type of food. Learn to read your body and you can't go wrong.

Don't give in to pressure. Love yourself and your body. If you don't love yourself, how do you expect other people to love you? 

Be happy, be confident. That often attracts people a lot more than silicone boobs and tons of hair gel. Or at least the attention you get will be the kind of attention that is good to have, not offers for sex in the bathroom.

Yes Beauty is important, but it is not the most important thing. When it comes to these things, Health is the most important. Have the right priorities and be at peace with your own body and with the world. 

I apologize ahead of time for the feministic and cynical tone of this post. 

But I really think its necessary to share.  

Also for those boys who read this, maybe you will learn a thing or two.

Now, first of all I want to state that I do believe in true, pure love.

And in the Exception.

But until you find it, girls, please, stop being so STUPID.

I've been researching this. And then putting the pieces together using common sense. And I've reached the conclusion that we girls are absolute idiots most of the time. Naive, gullible idiots. Easily manipulated.

No wonder we get hurt so much. So just stop. Protect yourself. Because 90% of the time it's just not worth it.

Okay.

So let's go.

First of all, in order to fight it, we must understand it. Understand ourselves. How we work, what our weak points are. And how easy it is to manipulate us.

What does a girl really need in order to let her guard down?

She needs to feel special. Unique. Like she's the only one.

She needs to feel incredible, like she's better than others. More beautiful, smart, funny, whatever.

Then we girls have all these tests that put forward.

Like the test of time. Will the guy give up easily or not? Will he keep insisting after the first no? The second? The fourteenth? The theory here is that if he is so insistent that he is actually genuinely interested, right?

Well hate to break the news but this is not always true.

Some guys will really keep at it for weeks or even months if they really want a girl physically. They will be willing to spend their energy, time, money, whatever it takes. And yes, sometimes after all that effort they will actually realize that they like her. But sometimes not. Sometimes all that effort was just a game, for a worthy prize. And once they get it they will loose interest. This is something we must understand once and for all. And we must learn to expect it, so we stop getting so heartbroken every single time.

This actually doesn't make the guy a bad person. It just means that he Just Wasn't That Into You.

And apparently guys don't have such a strong sense of guilt as girls do. They use us. Because, (sorry, but here comes the religious part), women are the way that men can connect to higher energies, to God. This is actually not my theory. It's a pretty well known theory. And a pretty cool one too, even if it is slightly feminist. God is love. And men gain love through women.

Women are naturally just more spiritual than men, more in touch with their intuition, with higher energies.

Men are more materialistic. The two complete each other in theory.

Until men got smart. And we didn't. We remained naive. And that's our problem.

All the excuses are B.S.

Why is it so hard to understand this?

"I'm busy." "I'm going through something." "It's just not the right time now."

"It's not you." "Let's just be friends."

All these excuses are just that. They are excuses.  If they were genuinely interested then nothing, I repeat, NOTHING would stand in the way.

NOTHING.

They would find a way.

They would fight. If it was worth it for them.

If they give up that it's not worth it. Don't take it personally. It's their problem.

I believe the only way we can keep going is to know that if we give love, pure love, eventually we will get it right. It's not our fault. When they reject us its just that they are not looking for love. They are looking for a lower type of energy. And they can find it somewhere else. Until they get sick and tired of it. But then it might be too late.

There is this wonderful metaphoric quote I read:

"Women are like apples on a tree. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of getting hurt. So instead, they just take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to get... The apples at the top of the tree think there's something wrong with them, when, in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along - one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top.

Men, on the other hand, are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes... and it's up to women to stomp on them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with."

Now let me make something clear, I'm not saying that sex is wrong. It's wonderful. It's an amazing way that men and women can connect in a deep and intimate way, the only way. But there something wrong with using that connection. It's not something that should be bought or sold, used for benefits, for manipulation or anything. I believe that some things should be kept sacred. Special.

Maybe that makes me a total looser, I don't know. But that's what I really think.

Once it becomes routine, it changes from Love, or even Sex, to simple, low animal instinct. And people are higher creatures than that. Evolution should not work backwards.

There is also nothing wrong with having a bit of fun, experimenting, finding out what you like, gaining crazy memories and stories. But there is something very wrong with giving away parts of your soul in the process. Remember they cannot hurt you unless you let them. Unless you give in too early or too easily.

So don't give them the chance to hurt you. Keep your soul for someone who will cherish it.

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left"

— Marilyn Monroe