T.H.i.N.K.
LETS TRY TO REMEMBER HOW TO THINK FOR OURSELVES AGAIN

Tango: A Journey. (My Journey)


"Dancers are the athletes of God" -Albert Einstein

To dance is to be out of yourself.  Larger, more beautiful, more powerful.  ~Agnes De Mille

“Other music exists to heal wounds; but the tango when sung and played is for the purpose of opening them, for the purpose of sticking you finger in the wound and to tear them until they bleed”

“Life is like Tango... sad, sensual, sexy, violent and quiet.

“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.” Angela Monet



I want to take the opportunity to tell you about one of the most important aspects of my life, and, perhaps, why you should consider adopting it into yours as well.

I’m talking about Dance.

I've had this feeling for most of my childhood, a beating, burning sensation of potential inside of me. I wanted to dance. More than anything. But being the extremely passive child that I was, I never spoke up, never pursued it. Yea, I wanted to dance. But I made excuses. There was no opportunity. I had to study. I had to get good grades. I was silent.

But the summer I visited my sister, a year before graduating from high school, I realized that I could actually do it. My sister decided to take bellydancing classes at the gym. I went with her, but had no intention of joining. I was just going to work out. But standing there, behind the glass door of the dance studio, I suddenly felt that burning sensation again. Why couldn't I? Yes, bellydance was as far from my life as perhaps, molecular physics, but why not?
Why not?

I wish I could say that the class was mindboggling... but it wasn't. It was full of old or fat women who simply had nothing else to do and had no real interest in dance. But it was a beginning.

It was my beginning.

I took bellydance classes on and off through out the school year when I got back home... But nothing serious. I had to graduate with excellence... and dance was always falling to second... well, more like seventeenth place in my list of priorities.

But in my first year of college I realized that I could not hold it back any longer. My university was terrible and did not require any effort of my part. My GPA was 4.00, without having to barely lift a finger. I had time. Finally. I had the opportunity. And for the first time in my life I stood up and took it.

I joined the Latin dance club. I just went, asked around and joined.

I did something real for the first time in my life. 

And for a while it was good. But Latin and I didn't mix well... My lack of balance and fear of falling just didn't work with all the turns and spins. I was looking for something more..

And then I heard that there is a tango club. And I went to ask about times... The lady looked at the clock and said, actually.. class starts in 5 minutes. And I decided... why not?

Now, I knew nothing about tango. I knew from bad Hollywood movies, that the colors are black and red, that people dance with roses in their teeth, mostly going sideways, cheek to cheek.

Boy was I in for a surprise...! When the first two months all we did was walk. Mostly backwards. I thought... what had I gotten myself into? I hated it. It was so boring...!

Until... I'm not sure of the moment... But once I was selected for the show group and we started going to milongas (special tango nights) and seeing professional dancers... At some point I realized...

Dance was the missing element in my life. Dance is what I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. I found it.

I found... Me.

And I found Tango.

And since that moment... I can't let it go. I started ballet classes. I bought en pointe shoes and am not training myself to stand in them. I'm not sure why or for what purpose...

It's just a feeling, incomparable to anything else I've ever felt. 

I can't really describe what makes the tango so special. It's something about the fact that it's completely improvised, based on the passion and energy of the partners and the music. The closeness. The tragic emotions. The rhythm of the music coinciding with your heartbeat.

There is something addictive in the tango. Really. Those who feel the real energy of the tango once, are enslaved to it for a lifetime. It really is quite amazing, unlike any other types of dances, that concentrate on steps and beats. Tango focuses on energy. 

It is now three years later, I look back and smile silently. I really had no idea what I was getting into. And what an important part of my life I had discovered. :)


And now that you know the background story, let me educate you:

Argentine Tango

Before you start thinking about holding a red rose in your mouth and shuffling around to the “la cumparsita”, like I did at the beginning of my tango life, let me tell you something. Tango is nothing like what you’ve heard of.

It’s an elaborate system of complete improvisation that relies on the clear communication and understanding between partners. It’s about taking the energy of the music and creating elaborate figures, tracing them lovingly into the dance floor. It’s a three minute love affair, more passionate and more pure than most of the love affairs people have outside of the dance. It is devoid of stereotypes, expectations, issues and differences. It’s purified to the simple interaction of a man and woman, which promotes respect, freedom of expression, communication and the intimacy of the embrace.

Simply, the tango teaches us how to behave in life. The ideal leader and follower in description come very close to what we can expect the ideal man and woman to be. The dance inspires confidence, compromise, communication, trust. 
And of course, like any other physical activity, it’s very healthy, as it strengthens muscles, flexibility, correct spinal alignment, balance, grace, etc. And now specifically to the genders: for women, I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is to have a sense of your own body, for me this is a large part of the very essence of being a woman: having to do with beauty, grace, self-esteem and creativity; as for men: the most attractive thing in a man is confidence. No wonder women all swoon in unison when they see male dancers performing! A man who knows how to dance not only understands how his body works, but also learns about the woman, how she moves and how he should lead her. Now, trust me, this is useful not only in the dance floor.... ;)
But, if all of this sounds too complicated, there is also another aspect: it’s simply a very beautiful, fun dance, and it’s a wonderful social event. There are large tango communities in every large city in the world nowadays, with special tango nights, practices, festivals and shows for all levels of dancers.

So, why not? It may be something you can try for fun, for exercise, as a way of bonding with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner... or who knows, you may get addicted and open up a dance studio someday. I will be very happy to meet and dance with you :) 

"When the tango took hold of me, it was as if I had found the ultimate lover. No single experience can be as fascinating as this dance. No single work of art is so replete with all the joy and sorrow and longing and tragi-comedy of the human race, as is a tango danced between a man and a woman. It is labyrinthine, yet so simple. Each lasts just a few moments, yet it is eternal. There is a purity amidst all its complexities. The more one searches for the meaning behind its mystery, the ever more elusive is the tango... And yet, it is what it is, and we can see it, hear it, feel it, breathe it, live it, in the pleasure of its immediacy. Those of us it holds in its power - we want to shape our whole lives around it, its cadences, its sweat, its subtle messages and surging desires. The tango changes us forever. It changed me forever. Never have I been so intensely in love. Never had I felt so intensely alive. It helps me forget. And it helps me remember sweetly." - la nuit blanche
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HappYness



“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
 
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”- Frederick Keonig 
  
"Happiness is never stopping to think if you are."  ~Palmer Sondreal

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."  ~Robert Anthony


“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ” ~James Openhein

In my constant obsession with self-improvement, I think I missed something. A little, seemingly silly aspect.

Am I happy?

And once I asked myself that I was surprised at what I felt as a response: emptiness.
And then it occurred to me: I'm not sure what that phrase means. What does it feel like to be happy? Of course I've been happy. But it seems like the moments of actual happiness are so short and rare that they get lost in the monotony of the stressful lives we lead.

Have we forgotten how it is to be happy?

An example that illustrated this point very clearly to me is when I thought back to my last relationship. When my boyfriend told me, "I love you", which was a first in our relationship, and the first time I've been told that. (I'm not counting family ''I love you''s). My first emotion was not happiness. It was panic. And the first thought I had was ''He must be lying. Is this a way of asking for sex?''
Ok, so maybe I'm a bit psychotic, but I think you can see that I mean.
We've been hypnotized into having stereotypes, fears, and having a sarcastic view on life.
We've forgotten how to appreciate things. How to find the light on a cloudy day. We can caught up in the everyday chaos and forget to be just be happy.

And what is more important than being happy?

I find it ironic that the word for ''happy'' in french, and I believe also in Spanish, is ''content(e)'', which in English is also a word used to describe a type of happiness, but, it seems to me, its the weakest type. Content means you're satisfied with what you have. It's not happy, per say. It's settling. It's acceptance.

Is that the way we understand happiness nowadays? As long as we have money, food, family, some friends, we consider ourselves happy people.

How often do you feel truly happy per week? Per year?
How long do those moments last?

I guess I shouldn't generalize here, I do know people that are insanely happy about everything. I envy them in a way, but the cynical side of me is afraid for them. It seems like if they are on such a high, something might happen to bring them back down, and it doesn't seem like they are strong enough to handle disasters. It seems, in a stupid and ironic way, that happy people aren't as strong as depressed ones.
Happiness is not known to make you stronger. All songs, movies, books, etc. teach us that it is through suffering and loss that we become strong, we become deserving, we grow.
But isn't that BS?
We have to suffer to deserve happiness? Why?

Do we really start out with such a non-existence self-esteem and low expectations that we don't believe that we deserve to be happy from the start? That we deserve to be loved?
That we deserve to feel?

I realized that I sedate myself to a state of moderateness. (I'm not sure that's a word, though.) Happiness in moderation, sadness in moderation.
I keep myself in the middle, because I'm bipolar, and the pendulum-like swing from happiness to depression exhausts me to an extent that I feel like I have no energy to live.

Are we afraid to feel?

I am. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to handle the consequences.
I read somewhere that all the things you fear the most have already happened to you. And you fear the repetition. Fear of abandonment, fear of betrayal, etc. But the ironic thing is, if it's already happened, you survived it. So it wasn't that bad after all. And if you learned something and moved on, it won't repeat. If it does, you still didn't take what you had to from the situation.

Be open to experience. I feel like in the fear of being hurt we forget that there are two possibilities. Yes, it might be a disaster. But it also could be magically wonderful (I just had this image of pink, fuzzy unicorns frolicking through a field of daisies. haha..)

If I envy anyone at all on the subject of happiness, it's children.
The purity of childhood. It's something magical isn't it? They are just made out of love, they give it to anyone and everyone, whether the person deserves it or not. Very strange and sad that the point of growing up is to loose that innocence.

I think we should all keep that little inner child inside of us alive. People use ''childish'' as a negative thing, but I think it's actually a positive! Children are wonderful, pure, innocent beings. Nothing wrong with reconnecting with our past. I think it will do the world a whole lot of good if we did.


Be happy. No excuses.
Just stop, look at the sky, feel the breath go in and out of your lungs.
You're alive. Feel the life pumping through your veins. Feel the opportunities. The magic.
Be happy.

Picture from: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/208/481949902_581b0dbdf5_m.jpg
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