“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
“We
tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting
something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what
we do have.”- Frederick Keonig
"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." ~Robert Anthony
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ” ~James Openhein
In my constant obsession with self-improvement, I think I missed something. A little, seemingly silly aspect.
Am I happy?
And once I asked myself that I was surprised at what I felt as a response: emptiness.
And then it occurred to me: I'm not sure what that phrase means. What does it feel like to be happy? Of course I've been happy. But it seems like the moments of actual happiness are so short and rare that they get lost in the monotony of the stressful lives we lead.
Have we forgotten how it is to be happy?
An example that illustrated this point very clearly to me is when I thought back to my last relationship. When my boyfriend told me, "I love you", which was a first in our relationship, and the first time I've been told that. (I'm not counting family ''I love you''s). My first emotion was not happiness. It was panic. And the first thought I had was ''He must be lying. Is this a way of asking for sex?''
Ok, so maybe I'm a bit psychotic, but I think you can see that I mean.
We've been hypnotized into having stereotypes, fears, and having a sarcastic view on life.
We've forgotten how to appreciate things. How to find the light on a cloudy day. We can caught up in the everyday chaos and forget to be just be happy.
And what is more important than being happy?
I find it ironic that the word for ''happy'' in french, and I believe also in Spanish, is ''content(e)'', which in English is also a word used to describe a type of happiness, but, it seems to me, its the weakest type. Content means you're satisfied with what you have. It's not happy, per say. It's settling. It's acceptance.
Is that the way we understand happiness nowadays? As long as we have money, food, family, some friends, we consider ourselves happy people.
How often do you feel truly happy per week? Per year?
How long do those moments last?
I guess I shouldn't generalize here, I do know people that are insanely happy about everything. I envy them in a way, but the cynical side of me is afraid for them. It seems like if they are on such a high, something might happen to bring them back down, and it doesn't seem like they are strong enough to handle disasters. It seems, in a stupid and ironic way, that happy people aren't as strong as depressed ones.
Happiness is not known to make you stronger. All songs, movies, books, etc. teach us that it is through suffering and loss that we become strong, we become deserving, we grow.
But isn't that BS?
We have to suffer to deserve happiness? Why?
Do we really start out with such a non-existence self-esteem and low expectations that we don't believe that we deserve to be happy from the start? That we deserve to be loved?
That we deserve to feel?
I realized that I sedate myself to a state of moderateness. (I'm not sure that's a word, though.) Happiness in moderation, sadness in moderation.
I keep myself in the middle, because I'm bipolar, and the pendulum-like swing from happiness to depression exhausts me to an extent that I feel like I have no energy to live.
Are we afraid to feel?
I am. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to handle the consequences.
I read somewhere that all the things you fear the most have already happened to you. And you fear the repetition. Fear of abandonment, fear of betrayal, etc. But the ironic thing is, if it's already happened, you survived it. So it wasn't that bad after all. And if you learned something and moved on, it won't repeat. If it does, you still didn't take what you had to from the situation.
Be open to experience. I feel like in the fear of being hurt we forget that there are two possibilities. Yes, it might be a disaster. But it also could be magically wonderful (I just had this image of pink, fuzzy unicorns frolicking through a field of daisies. haha..)
If I envy anyone at all on the subject of happiness, it's children.
The purity of childhood. It's something magical isn't it? They are just made out of love, they give it to anyone and everyone, whether the person deserves it or not. Very strange and sad that the point of growing up is to loose that innocence.
I think we should all keep that little inner child inside of us alive. People use ''childish'' as a negative thing, but I think it's actually a positive! Children are wonderful, pure, innocent beings. Nothing wrong with reconnecting with our past. I think it will do the world a whole lot of good if we did.
Be happy. No excuses.
Just stop, look at the sky, feel the breath go in and out of your lungs.
You're alive. Feel the life pumping through your veins. Feel the opportunities. The magic.
Be happy.
Picture from: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/208/481949902_581b0dbdf5_m.jpg
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January 11, 2011 at 12:43 PM
I loved this article...
January 11, 2011 at 12:45 PM
Reminded me of the movie.. great stuff.
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