“When you're young, life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”-Sex and the city

   It stopped being fun once we got a reality check. Everybody gets them in different ways, through a broken heart, loss of loved one, natural disaster, parents divorce, etc etc.. Or maybe it wasn't even a dramatic event, maybe it was something little, so little you can't even remember. But everybody has a breaking point, in which the world suddenly goes from pink and fluffy to full color, contrast, saturation and all that. And I don't know how about you, but it scared the hell out of me.
  Life suddenly went from passive and lovely, so complicated and uncertain. There were so many options. So many roads. So many detours. So many choices. So many potential mistakes. So much fear.
   And suddenly I was given the controls. But I had no idea how to drive. I had to suddenly ''know'' and ''plan''. I was overwhelmed. I closed up. I climbed into my little bubble, into the backseat, and let the flow carry me along. I was afraid.
But what is there to fear, really?
Fear of making mistakes.
Fear of regretting.
Fear of failure.
Fear.

   But what are mistakes anyway? And who has the right to judge?
Why do you think that YOU have the right to decide what was a mistake and what wasn't? How do you know? You don't ever, ever see the Bigger Picture. You can only guess, regret, worry, yada yada. But what for? Yes, you may think of what could-a, should-a, would-a happened, but in the end its simply a waste of time.

  We make decisions. Every minute of every day. We decide the course of our lives. Whether or not you believe in destiny, I think everybody will agree that a person has a certain power over their lives.
I'm writing this post. I could be doing a thousand different things right now, but this was my decision. Because I have something to say, and for some reason I decided to say it. And I never know the consequences.
Maybe one sentence, one word of this post will trigger a thought in someones mind, which will help them in some situation in life. They may not even realize it, I may never find out about it.
Or it may not happen. Maybe this is just a blog, just a way for me to vent, and it may not change or influence anything. But so what? Should I sit here and think, hmm, maybe if I hadn't written this post I would have gone out and found the love of my life, yada, yada. Anything is possible. But do I regret it? No.

Long ago I've decided to try to give up on regret. There is no point.
We make decisions. We shape our lives. We do the best we can, strive to be the best we can be. No point in categorizing things in the past as good or bad. Everything is just an experience. Learn from it and move on. If you were true to your heart then there is no reason to regret anything you ever did. And nothing is a mistake. What happened, happened. Take a deep breath and let it go.

Get out of the backseat of your car.
The past is behind you,
Your future is ahead.
Fear is simply an illusion.
It's in your mind.
You have the controls in your hands.
So...
Where do YOU want to go...?

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” -Margaret Mead

 
Despite the contradiction, there is an undeniable truth in the sentence above. There are billions of people in the world, and every single one is an exceptional, irreplaceable individual. But look around you and you might be surprised. Everyone is wearing the similar shoes, clothing, hair styles, listening to the same music… Do you suppose that everyone is really thinking for themselves and this is a just a coincidence? Or, did we allow certain stereotypes of “normality”, “coolness”, “beauty” or “perfection” to take over our lives, influence the way we think and perceive the world?
 
I think the theory that our preferences and tastes are something we our born with is not entirely true. When we were children we were not aware of the fact that our eyelashes have to be longer, our waists smaller, our teeth whiter, etc. We did not know that wearing different brands, styles or even colors of clothing sometimes affects the way people perceive you.

When we were little, we were accepted and loved just because we existed. We were simply ourselves and it was enough. So at what point in our lives did it stop being enough? And, more importantly, why? Why is it that most of us feel forced to conform to the stereotype of how we ‘should’ act and look like? The general answer to this is fear. We are afraid to be different, because we dread not being loved or accepted. We care about what people think of us. Every single move we make, either consciously or not, we evaluate how people will react. We’re afraid of being laughed at, rejected or scorned, because we need other people in order to feel complete.

Now, I’m not saying that self-improvement is a bad thing, it’s a vital part of life. But once we start to change ourselves only in order to “fit in”, we are not only lying to everyone around us through a type of false advertising, but we are also lying to ourselves, which is much worse. And we are also purging society of uniqueness and variety. 

So is it worth it?

Our differences are the thing that what make us unique and interesting. It’s what makes our lives fun and colorful. So, why not dare to be different? Dare to be yourself and don’t care what others think of it. I am convinced that if you stay true to your heart, you will find people that will love you for who you are, and not who you are trying to be. Dare to be imperfect, natural, think for yourself. And, of course, be open about other people’s individuality. And I think the world will be a much better place.

(PUBLISHED: BILNEWS, FEBRUARY 16TH, 2010, PAGE 2)